|
I need some help solving a problem. I have a friend named Tommy. I like to play with him because we both like sports and he is really fun and funny. One thing I do not like is that when we are together, he sometimes says mean things about other boys and girls we know. This makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel funny saying something to him because I do not want him to be mad at me. But, I feel funny not saying something to him because I feel like I am being mean to my friends if I do not stick up for them. What should I do? From, Carter J. Luxemburg, WI Dear Carter, I’m glad that you noticed a problem in this situation and are looking for help. Friendships can be very challenging! I think the reason that Tommy is saying unkind things about other people is that he feels insecure about himself. I hope that you can be strong enough to stand up for those other kids—even just by saying something kind about them to Tommy as he is criticizing them. It is such a hard thing to do, but a very important skill to learn. The truth is, if you don’t stand up for those friends, then you are being unkind to them just like Tommy. Try saying “Do you know what I like about____?” to Tommy when he says something unkind about that person. It will probably surprise Tommy enough to stop picking on that person—and hopefully the conversation will start getting more positive. If you can do that, you are being a great friend to the other kids and you are being a great friend and role model to Tommy! Good luck, Carter! Your friend, Skipper
Write to Skipper at: skipper (at) doorcountytravelersjournal (dot) com Questions for Skipper are due one week in advance of the publication of his column, that is, Wednesdays, so that he has ample time to ponder, research, and respond intelligently. © Copyright 2011 by DoorCountyTravelersJournal.com
| |||||||||||||||||||||